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Steam is mobile! Civilization V hits the Linux, Metal Slug 3 goes DRM-free, and AMD polishes the Mantle. Then Secret of the Magic Crystals – The Race faces our chairquisition! All this, plus your hate mail.


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Colour key: Venn Jordan Pedro

Steam News:


  • Assuming it’ll actually come out, this would be an awesome St’r’eam Machine!

  • That would explain all of these android games in the steam store


Not so Steamy

  • Hey guys! GUYS! We released a small form factor PC.

  • “the chip allows the Alienware Alpha to offer performance comparable to the Xbox One and PlayStation 4”

    • This is not something you want to be advertising to PC gamers…

    • B-b-but 2GB of dedicated GDDR5 memory! #yoloswag

    • For $550 it damn well better outperform next gen consoles.

  • “Alienware Alpha will ship with Windows 8.1 preinstalled” Oh, look at all the nope.

  • “Alpha is fully upgradeable, other than the graphics chip,” Sir, can I have an extra serving of nope?

    • Venn, you fanciful slut, you can just buy a new one if the GPU can’t handle your games

      • dicks.jpg

      • They called it Alpha, that way they can avoid all criticism by claiming it was in fact AN alpha for their Steam Machine. Shrewd little fuckers that they are!

  • “We’re fuckin’ gamer pro Alienware, we ain’t got time to wait for Valve!”

  • Of note is that Alienware is preconfiguring the computer to boot straight to steam.


Valve Funds Glassy

  • Its a good step forward.   Glad that valve is shilling out the bucks for Open Source development

  • Improvements to intel and open source AMD performance are always more than welcome

  • As a user and advocate of the Mesa driver strack, this tickles me in a special place.

  • Their goal is to remove the frame latency issues which have plagued the AMD/ATI environment since the dawn of time. They say they’ve already achieved a 15-22% frame time decrease in L4D2.


TurbospaceGandhi now on linux

  • Protip: These guys only get wet stinky if you buy/play the game under Linux for the first week.

  • From the store page

    • IMPORTANT NOTICE: Don’t meet the above requirements? Running on Ubuntu? That doesn’t mean your configuration wont run Civ V, it just means we have not tested and vetted your configuration. Visit the Civilization V community page to share your experience with other Linux players and learn about how to send bugs to Aspyr. Your feedback will help us improve Civ V Linux and future AAA Linux releases!

    • Good on Aspyr for at least attempting to engage the community

  • For 24 hours (Tuesday-Wednesday) you could have bought Civ V and it’s kajillions of DLC for $16.49

  • The disparity between Windows & Mac minimum requirements and  Linux is worrisome. Maybe I’m just jaded at this point, but that’s not a good sign!

  • One point of concern is that Aspyr is notoriously bad with delivering patches on OSX.  I wonder if that’ll hold true for steamos

  • Burrrrn.jpg

  • I for one welcome our third second AAA Linux title.

  • It starts off in “I’m poor” mode.

  • This may actually be good news?

  • And someone’s already got it running a chromebook:


Beasts of Prey

  • Jeff Goldblum Simulator 2014!   Now with less body horror :(

  • Turok is disappoint

  • Unity Turok?

    • Oh no, wait! it’s a Unity clone of ORION: Dino Horde. Carry on!


The Talos Principle

  • Another reason to throw your spacebucks at croteam

  • “written by Tom Jubert (FTL, The Swapper)”

  • Really want to see what Croteam’s Serious Engine 4 can throw in my face organ.

    • I’m a big fan of the Linux minimum requirements. I got at least double that on my current laptop (except processor)

  • Serious Myst? Uru: Ages Beyond Sam?

    • As long as there are T-Rexes with minigun arms smoking cigars, I’ll be alright



  • Not listed for Linux on store page

  • Downloads and runs.

  • Bills itself as an M.C. Escher Simulator

    • Trailer gives it a portal/stanley parable type feel

  • $20 Seems a bit steep



  • Not very controlling yet. The PS2 Dual Shock works, except when it comes to pausing the game and navigating the menus.

    • They fixed it!


Tex Murphy Dump

  • Because we need more ancient adventure games

    • Especially 90’s FMV green-screen-fest ones.

  • Coming next week, Windows XP pinball for SteamOS



  • Added initial support for G-SYNC monitors.

    • For the 0 monitors out on the market that support it.


Mantle and Linux on the same sentence from an AMD representative

  • “With DirectX 12 games still over 18 months away and no alternatives in sight for Linux gamers, Mantle’s future looks bright.”


(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻)

  • I have a sneaking suspicion this will result in many informercial style blunders

  • Whar keyboard on the right version? Fuck left-handers?

  • WHAR

  • NZQhi.gif

    • Deluxe model


Upgrade the Distance

  • Lots of problems upgrading reported by filthy trash people who did not originally back the Kickstarter.

  • Pay the difference between your tier and the $55 tier for access.

  • I know someone looking for 40 extra wet stinky.

    • Would gladly throw it at them, but I’ll be needing to buy furniture very, very soon.


Blender 2.71 brings improvements for Game Developers

  • Support for Exporting objects to unity, UDK and unreal 4

  • Still a fair list of “What doesn’t work” for each but good on them.


Of Guards and Thieves – Open Beta

  • Everyone can join in during the Open Beta with a free account

    • Remains to be seen whether or not they’ll keep a free to play option once the game is “finished” (as much as any game is finished nowadays)

  • In the meantime you can also support the game through their very own Kickstarter rip-off page:


Metal Slug 3 DRM-free

  • Was part of Humble Bundle dontfknrememberorcare

  • SDL control goodness.

  • No online multiplayer until Steam release

  • No mention of a Steam (Linux) release.


OpenXcom 1.0

  • Spreadsheet sim 1994 – Now with more day/night cycles!

  • Hey, good on them for reaching 1.0


– Nooope

– Not sure if want

– Check it out

– Shutupandtakemymonies

Game: PONIES!!111!!! Secret of the Magic Crystals – The Race


Devel: Artery Studios

Engine: Unity

Price: $3.99

Wazzat: The Race is a multiplayer expansion for the original game which allows to race with your favourite horse against players around the world or the computer.

Makes with the working


  • How can we review DLC? It’s not like we had a choice.

  • It practically installed itself.



  • Well… If the original game worked, a piece of DLC for it oughta as well!


Shiny / Sounds


  • Yeah, it can be a bit sluggish at times but that’s the fault of my 770s. They are simply unable to cope with the awesome sauce that it this masterpiece

  • Really, sell your car, house, whatever and buy a pair a Titans so can truly enjoy this magical experience. .


  • 2468904593_6a7c692ab6.jpg


  • Ponies!

  • Really, it’s MOAR PONIES on screen at any given time!

  • My ears were left bleeding after the race because of the constant clip-clopping of pony hooves.




  • The system automatically adjusts braking and speed it’s …magical!

  • All you have to do is steer left and right and that’s a good thing.

  • Any more contact /w such an revolutionary control scheme would simply melt your entire body organ.


  • Brilliantly simple.   Inspired


  • It’s like an android game that you can play ON YOUR PC!

  • Everyone loves playing racing games on a tablet, right? Right? Guys!?




  • ZO-my-FKN-GOD! At the end of the day Secret of the Magic Crystals – The Race is failed attempt at recapturing the ZOMGPONIES craze of the original.

  • With controls worthy of the name “suggestion buttons”, Graphics that only a console player would love, and no ability to invite the mates for some online mockery; all I can say is meh!

  • At the end of the day, save your 3.99 wet stinkys unless you have little ankle biters of your own.

  • This bit-o-DLC should grab their attention for a few hours allowing you the time to reflect on the horrible life choices you’ve made that have led up to this point.




Final –

Hate Mail:

Do you speak it?


Spate Linux review

  • Everytime I read “annoying” all I hear is “it made my groin organ tingle and that’s not right and that annoys me!”

  • Another mans voice can give you a chubby. It’s okay bro. We don’t judge here on L.G.C.

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