This week your intrepid heroes defy physics, lick airplanes, and unlock our inner Michael Bay.
Chairquisition:
– Nooope
– Not sure if want
– Check it out
– Shutupandtakemymonies
Game: \m/ simulator
Webzone: http://www.goat-simulator.com/
Devel: Coffee Stain Studios
Engine: Unreal Engine 3
Price: $/€9.99
Wazzat: Goat Simulator is the latest in goat simulation technology, bringing next-gen goat simulation to YOU. You no longer have to fantasize about being a goat, your dreams have finally come true! WASD to write history.
Makes with the working
V-
Still nopes when changing zones.
Does not save game progress (I noticed this AFTER collecting 15 statues)
J-
P-
No crashing on the calculator!
Total-
Shiny / Sounds
V-
I don’t know what it is about the soundtrack ..but I dig it.
Explosions splode, people scream etc.. no complaints.
/W everything on 11 it’s completely playable minus the occasional slowdown during complex scenes. (in all fairness this is usually me collecting 50 splode tanks)
Dont’ even THINK about enabling MSAA
J-
P-
UE3 is second only to Unity when it comes to lack of optimization.
To get an even remotely playable frame count on the open sauce drivers, I needed to turn just about every graphical “enhancement” off.
Total-
Control
V-
Because I don’t play a FPG /w a controller.
No issue /w keyboard + gerbil controls.
J-
Contoller support is fucked
P-
Mouse sensitivity has two modes:
ZOMG look at me so twitchy; and
Slide mouse off the desk to look slightly to the right.
Total-
FUN
V-
J-
The game is surprisingly deep for what it is. Good on the devs for that
P-
XCOM: Enemy Unknown is the better UE3 port! Sorry, Ryan.
Bugs are fun until they force you to restart the level.
And when you have to restart it for the third time in less than 2 minutes because the roads become ethereal and you fall through the world, all its charm kinda goes out the window.
Total-
Final –