This week your intrepid heroes invent a new drinking game, look at hipster-pixels, and play a shameless Sonic clone. Freedom Planet faces the CHAIRQUISITION!

Game: Freedom Planet
Webzone: http://store.steampowered.com/app/248310
Devel: GalaxyTrail
Engine: Multimedia Fusion
Price: $/€14.99 – $16.99 CAD

Wazzat: Fight your way across the celestial world of Avalice where cats are green, motorcycles drive up walls and monster girls do most of the buttkicking!

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CHAIRQUISITION:
CHAIR– Nooope

CHAIRCHAIR– Not sure if want

CHAIRCHAIRCHAIR– Check it out

CHAIRCHAIRCHAIRCHAIR– Shutupandtakemymonies


Makes with the working

V-CHAIRCHAIRCHAIRCHAIR

J-CHAIRCHAIRCHAIRCHAIR

P-CHAIRCHAIRCHAIRCHAIR


Total-CHAIRCHAIRCHAIRCHAIR


Shiny / Sounds

V-CHAIRCHAIR

  • It’s a pixelated mess.
  • No resolution options so it’s a scaled pixilated mess.
  • Even at 4M (yes, I measured) it still looks like molten pixel goo.
  • And what’s up with that transition animation from running up a ramp to level ground.

J-CHAIRCHAIR

  • This game takes a lot from the sonic the hedgehog playbook
  • The running in this just looks so slow though.   How do you fuck that up?
  • The voice acting is Okay
  • Seriously, I think Yuji Naka is gonna sue somebody

P-CHAIRCHAIR

  • Look at all the hipster pixel!
  • Voice actors recorded in different places.
    • Some characters sound louder and crisper than others.
  • The music is kinda like Sonic’s except more annoying
  • All the “hmph!” “typhoon” “yah!” got this game muted within the half-hour mark.
  • I can’t give it 1 chair, because the graphics and the sound are there and you can see/hear them.
  • But I’ll give the lowest possible because they’re terrible!

Total-CHAIRCHAIR


Control

V-CHAIR

  • I had to commit some fuckery to get the Xclone to work.
  • Was intermittent controller support listed on the store page?
  • It “works” with the XClone but every movement or button press is considered a suggestion.

J-CHAIR

  • Tried with both a Dualshock 3 and Two different 360 controllers.   Neither were detected.    Steam sees them though, as do most other games
  • Standard two button run and attack scheme
  • However, if you expect me to platform without a controller, you get one chair
  • The third xbox controller finally worked.    The controls are decent enough.   However, you still get one chair for making me go through all that work

P-CHAIR

  • Sonic-like platformer that in 9 minutes ignored over 10 of my jumping keystrokes.
  • Controller? Fuck your controllers!
  • Neither the DualShock with Xboxdrv or the NVidia Controller were detected.
  • What’s that, you’d like to reassign controls? Aha, fuck you!

Total-CHAIR


FUN

V-CHAIR

  • This is a shameless Sonic clone.
  • It looks worse and handles worse er er #moreworse
  • It captures nothing from the original and the real kicker … it’s slower.

J-CHAIR

  • Let’s just ignore for a second that this is a two bit sonic the hedgehog knockoff
  • You expect me to platform without the use of a controller.
  • The game falls short of capturing the sonic experience.
  • Worst of all, it’s just boring.   And for a game, that’s criminal

P-CHAIR

  • Running the risk of pissing all over someone’s favorite furry game
    • And trust me when I say I have no issue with fursons and their fursonas.
  • This could have been a competent Sonic & Knuckles clone.
  • It has the two characters with slightly different abilities that allow you to reach different parts of each level and beat bosses a different way.
  • Unfortunately, whatever positives it may have had are knocked right back down with graphics that make the Genesis look competent, incongruent voice-acting, and borderline non-functional controls.
  • $15 when it’s not on sale, fuck no!

Total-CHAIR


Final –CHAIR

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