Your intrepid heroes scream at monitors, glitch through walls, and enjoy a game of Flappier Bird… in hell. Speedrunners From Hell faces the CHAIRQUISITION!
Game: SEUM: Speedrunners From Hell
Webzone: http://store.steampowered.com/app/457210/
Devel: Pine Studio
Engine: Unity
Price: 14.99 / CDN 16.99
Wazzat: SEUM: Speedrunners from Hell is the world’s only competitive heavy metal first-person platformer. Slice every last millisecond as you race and blast your way through deadly arenas. Teleport, jump, fly and bounce in a hundred merciless and fast paced maps for the ultimate prize: Your soul! (… and beer).
Mandatory Disclosure: Devs Sent us keys
CHAIRQUISITION:
Makes with the working
V-
- I think it dropped below 200, once.
J-
P-
- It dropped to about 150-200 while I was recording with NVenc Lossless.
- Another Unity game which isn’t bottlenecked by the processor.
- Big kudos to the devs and to the Bard family for the work they keep putting in the engine!
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Shiny / Sounds
V-
- Looks like a slightly updated Q3 MOD… in hell.
- Evil Clipy was cute but making him red killed the humor Clipy was already the spawn of Satan.
- The soundtrack comes across as a kidz bop version of Metallica’s Black album.
- Uses the generic overmodulated demon voice filter for the demon audio.
J-
- This guy would have got two chairs from me but for one reason:
- I’m a sucker for metal sountracks. Even if I can play “Name that riff” with most of the soundtrack”
- Curious to see what kind of plagiarism lawsuits emerge from the soundtrack
- The rest just looks and feels like quake. Not a bad thing, but it doesn’t get you points
P-
- It really does look like someone took a Quake 3 arena, took out 90% of the floor and threw in a couple of power-ups to make sure you could still finish the level.
- Does the Devil Hand really need to take up almost a quarter of the screen?
- It’s a very good looking and well detailed hand… Hell, I wish my right hand looked like that.
- But does it have to be so distractingly big?
- There was background music but most of it was “Elevator Music of the Metal Kind” and the moment I got “in the zone”, it became negligible background noise.
- Your character likes to quip about acquiring the power ups or nailing a jump or whatever, but his vocabulary seems severely limited.
- Also, not entirely sure Lucifer would be the appropriate entity to be dropping random bits of internet meme-culture.
- Thankfully, the levels are short and the repetitiousness of the quips is kept down to minimum.
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Control
V-
- What is wrong with your face jump?
- I’m not saying it’s broken but don’t give me a bunny hop levels when that mechanic is not spot on.
J-
- No real issues here.
- Fucking flappy bird? Seriously?
P-
- As much as the level design fucks with you, the controls are spot on.
- If you miss a jump, go back and try again because it was your fault.
- If you can’t seem to get a hold of the teleportation/gravity reversal thing, keep flailing until you’re through (it worked for me on a couple of levels).
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FUN
V-
- It managed to elicit a “FK YOU, LEVEL!” verbal response in the first 10 minutes… however.
- Most of the levels are wicked simple but every now and then you accidentally run across one that provides the slightest bit of challenge.
- The teleport and FK gravity mutators (while unoriginal and uninspired) help to make other levels slightly less tedious.
- Don’t care for collecting beer… in hell.
- Has the Distance “there is a legit way to glitch through a level” problem.
- What’s the point of having leaderboards if shite like this exists?
- It immediately causes me to lose all interest in competing.
- “STFU grandpa! That’s how we compete in 2016! #L33THax”
- And yet you wonder why absolutely nobody streams this game on the Twitch.
- Well wonder no longer, children #LGCcares
- Trust me when I say try before you buy.
- Afterall I am one hell of a game critic #dontevenneedahashtag
J-
- You learn all you need to know about the game in the first five minutes, including whether you like it or hate it.
- All the levels are about 8-15 seconds long, but it’ll take longer due to finding out the tricks
- Here’s where it falls short for me:
- I hate running clocks. I spend more time looking at the clock than performing the task
- I haaaaaaate repeating the same shit over and over again
- Still, the game itself is relatively unoffensive and it does what it says on the tin reasonably well.
- And it’s not a bad way to kill a couple minutes
P-
- It’s a well done game.
- It’s like a first person 3D Action Henk… in Hell!
- And just like action Henk, I’m not really feeling it.
- I’d only be in it to try and beat other people’s times, same as Distance.
- But, outside of the three of us, no one else has the game and I’m not enough of an egotist to say buy this game so I can have a reason to keep playing it.
- The mechanics are sound, the controls are tight and, since the levels are often very short, the quips your main character lets out don’t get all that repetitive.
- All in all, this is one of those games I hate to throw chairs at.
- It’s not damn awful but it’s also not particularly good, interesting or innovative.
- It’s a genre that’s been done before and better.
- Like Distance.
- It’s a perfectly mediocre game.
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Final –
