L.G.C. |Reviews| — SEUM: Speedrunners From Hell

Your intrepid heroes scream at monitors, glitch through walls, and enjoy a game of Flappier Bird… in hell. Speedrunners From Hell faces the CHAIRQUISITION! 

Game: SEUM: Speedrunners From Hell
Devel: Pine Studio
Engine: Unity
Price: 14.99 / CDN 16.99

Wazzat: SEUM: Speedrunners from Hell is the world’s only competitive heavy metal first-person platformer. Slice every last millisecond as you race and blast your way through deadly arenas. Teleport, jump, fly and bounce in a hundred merciless and fast paced maps for the ultimate prize: Your soul! (… and beer).

Mandatory Disclosure: Devs Sent us keys

CHAIR– Nooope

CHAIRCHAIR– Not sure if want


CHAIRCHAIRCHAIRCHAIR – Shutupandtakemymonies

Makes with the working


  • I think it dropped below 200, once.



  • It dropped to about 150-200 while I was recording with NVenc Lossless.
  • Another Unity game which isn’t bottlenecked by the processor.
  • Big kudos to the devs and to the Bard family for the work they keep putting in the engine!


Shiny / Sounds


  • Looks like a slightly updated Q3 MOD… in hell.
  • Evil Clipy was cute but making him red killed the humor Clipy was already the spawn of Satan.
  • The soundtrack comes across as a kidz bop version of Metallica’s Black album.
  • Uses the generic overmodulated demon voice filter for the demon audio.


  • This guy would have got two chairs from me but for one reason:
    • I’m a sucker for metal sountracks. Even if I can play “Name that riff” with most of the soundtrack”
    • Curious to see what kind of plagiarism lawsuits emerge from the soundtrack
  • The rest just looks and feels like quake. Not a bad thing, but it doesn’t get you points


  • It really does look like someone took a Quake 3 arena, took out 90% of the floor and threw in a couple of power-ups to make sure you could still finish the level.
  • Does the Devil Hand really need to take up almost a quarter of the screen?
  • It’s a very good looking and well detailed hand… Hell, I wish my right hand looked like that.
  • But does it have to be so distractingly big?
  • There was background music but most of it was “Elevator Music of the Metal Kind” and the moment I got “in the zone”, it became negligible background noise.
  • Your character likes to quip about acquiring the power ups or nailing a jump or whatever, but his vocabulary seems severely limited.
  • Also, not entirely sure Lucifer would be the appropriate entity to be dropping random bits of internet meme-culture.
  • Thankfully, the levels are short and the repetitiousness of the quips is kept down to minimum.




  • What is wrong with your face jump?
  • I’m not saying it’s broken but don’t give me a bunny hop levels when that mechanic is not spot on.


  • No real issues here.
  • Fucking flappy bird? Seriously?


  • As much as the level design fucks with you, the controls are spot on.
  • If you miss a jump, go back and try again because it was your fault.
  • If you can’t seem to get a hold of the teleportation/gravity reversal thing, keep flailing until you’re through (it worked for me on a couple of levels).




  • It managed to elicit a “FK YOU, LEVEL!” verbal response in the first 10 minutes… however.
  • Most of the levels are wicked simple but every now and then you accidentally run across one that provides the slightest bit of challenge.
  • The teleport and FK gravity mutators (while unoriginal and uninspired) help to make other levels slightly less tedious.
  • Don’t care for collecting beer… in hell.
  • Has the Distance “there is a legit way to glitch through a level” problem.
    • What’s the point of having leaderboards if shite like this exists?
    • It immediately causes me to lose all interest in competing.
  • STFU grandpa! That’s how we compete in 2016! #L33THax”
    • And yet you wonder why absolutely nobody streams this game on the Twitch.
    • Well wonder no longer, children #LGCcares
  • Trust me when I say try before you buy.
    • Afterall I am one hell of a game critic #dontevenneedahashtag


  • You learn all you need to know about the game in the first five minutes, including whether you like it or hate it.
  • All the levels are about 8-15 seconds long, but it’ll take longer due to finding out the tricks
  • Here’s where it falls short for me:
    • I hate running clocks. I spend more time looking at the clock than performing the task
    • I haaaaaaate repeating the same shit over and over again
  • Still, the game itself is relatively unoffensive and it does what it says on the tin reasonably well.
  • And it’s not a bad way to kill a couple minutes


  • It’s a well done game.
  • It’s like a first person 3D Action Henk… in Hell!
  • And just like action Henk, I’m not really feeling it.
  • I’d only be in it to try and beat other people’s times, same as Distance.
  • But, outside of the three of us, no one else has the game and I’m not enough of an egotist to say buy this game so I can have a reason to keep playing it.
  • The mechanics are sound, the controls are tight and, since the levels are often very short, the quips your main character lets out don’t get all that repetitive.
  • All in all, this is one of those games I hate to throw chairs at.
  • It’s not damn awful but it’s also not particularly good, interesting or innovative.
  • It’s a genre that’s been done before and better.
  • Like Distance.
  • It’s a perfectly mediocre game.




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