Your intrepid heroes travel to Canada, find a crowbar, and take a picture. Kona faces the CHAIRQUISITION!

Game: Kona
Devel: Parabole
Engine: Unity
Price: 19.99 / CDN 21.99

Wazzat: Northern Canada, 1970. A strange blizzard ravages Atamipek Lake. Step into the shoes of a detective to explore the eerie village, investigate surreal events, and battle the elements to survive. Kona is a chilly, narrative-driven interactive tale you won’t soon forget.

Disclosure: The devs sent us keys


CHAIR– Nooope

CHAIRCHAIR– Not sure if want


CHAIRCHAIRCHAIRCHAIR– Shutupandtakemymonies

Makes with the working


  • The loading system while driving can fuck right off.
  • And get this, it use to not be a thing until they nerfed the game for consoles.
  • Using about 45% of the 980.
  • I’m sick and tired of developers farting out Unity ports without giving them the TLC needed to run at an acceptable framerate on Linux.
  • It can be done but you lot chose not to do it.


  • Dat loading scream


  • Gah! Those loading screens…
  • Still and since this is a Unity game, having the choice between a wide open area with shit performance or a segmented area with passable performance, I’ll take the latter.
  • However, changing resolution doesn’t seem to stick.
  • I was going to forgive the loading screens, but when you compound that with an old Unity bug where the resolution will keep reverting to 960×540 if I didn’t pick 1080p before applying the settings… Yeah! You’re getting dinged a chair.


Shiny / Sounds


  • Staticky film grain effect, the game.
  • Outside of that it looks alright for an indie title.
  • Then again it should since it’s all trees and snow.
  • The one “alive” human character was unintentionally horrifying.
  • Lets just say animation rigging is not this studios strong suit.
  • Feet! You have feet! #bonussoda
  • Graphically it’s well done for what it is.
  • Hell, in a strange way some of the jank helps get you into that 70’s Canadian mindset.
  • I took off my headphones after about 30 minutes since the narrator bored me and provided useless information.


  • I like our narrator’s buttery smooth, Peter Cullen ass voice
  • I can dig the 70’s rustic aesthetic, and it works with the film grain effect
  • The scenery is just so…racist.
  • The soundtrack smacks of the Twin Peaks, Stranger Things tropes, but it’s good for the mood


  • Outside of the thing at the end when your character does a thing while another thing tries to do a thing you don’t want any part of… It actually does look alright.
  • But what really shines here is the background noise.
  • Not the music! That got muted since it managed to take away any form of suspense from certain situations which would have benefited greatly from a little bit of tension.
  • My PSA for the devs: Learn how to music!




  • WASD plus gerbil, no complaints.
  • Xclone Controlla worked but that shite don’t fly for First Person.



  • A Unity game with a sensitivity slider which actually works is always good to see.