LinuxGameCast Reviews – The Dishwasher: Vampire Smile

Your intrepid heroes climb walls, get good, and unlock a unlock Pretty Princess. The Dishwasher: Vampire Smile faces the CHAIRQUISITION!

Game: The Dishwasher: Vampire Smile
Devel: Ska Studios / Flibitijibibo
Engine: FNA
Price: 9.99 / CDN 10.99

Wazzat: Embark on a blood soaked quest of vengeance as either Yuki, a machine-armed, mentally unraveling prisoner, or The Dishwasher, a relentless, reanimated samurai, against the corrupted leaders of society: the Banker, the General, and the Judge.

Mandatory Disclosure: They Sent us keys

CHAIR– Nooope

CHAIRCHAIR– Not sure if want


CHAIRCHAIRCHAIRCHAIR– Shutupandtakemymonies

Colour key: Venn Jordan Pedro

Makes with the working


  • Holds a solid 60 @ 1080.
  • Had to restart once in multiplayer.
  • Button prompts reverted to the keyboard while using the controlla.


  • Holy shit you guys! The multiplayer works!



Shiny / Sounds


  • I just really dig the art style from these cats.
  • It’s fluid, dark, and gory as all hell.
  • Yeah, it still has that cardboard cutout vibe but it works for a brawler.
  • It makes noises and shite when you hit stuff so nothing to complain about since you won’t be focused on it in the first place.


  • I really do like the art style in this game
  • However, what I don’t like is the monotone colour scheme that makes it super easy to lose your character
  • Combined with the random blood spatter effects, I can’t see what the hell is going on, and that frustrates me
  • Would’ve gotten 3 chairs if it weren’t for that


  • You know how in Charlie Murder you’d keep losing track of your character in Multiplayer?
  • Here, you keep losing track of your character, in single player!
  • That said, I didn’t hate the background music on this one.
  • And while the animation is a lot rougher than their latter titles, the general visual aesthetics fit the game very well.
  • You can tell that this game came out before Charlie Murder and Salt & Sanctuary.
  • But more on that later.




  • Yeah, everything works and makes /w the binding but something is slightly off with running up walls.
  • Seriously, you cannot rely on that works 100% of the time.



  • Button mash, the game!
  • I’m serious! I don’t feel like I’m improving all that much in this game as I play.
  • Often I feel like it’s blind luck that my button mashing has just the right timing to stun lock 3 or 4 enemies at once.
  • That said, each thwack of the Violence Hammer feels very satisfying!
  • Only boss or miniboss style monsters don’t get immediately pummeled into the floor with it.




  • On normal this game is being hard on purpose.
  • In multiplayer the hard is almost welcome since it causes you to break out of fk around mode and actually focus.
  • In single player the hard can simply fk right off because you are already focusing on why your friends never come around anymore.
  • Does that sound fun?
  • No, it sounds like a mixed bag.
  • Here’s the dice, like Charlie muderator this is a no apologies brawler.
  • Upgrades, power ups, low-yield thermonuclear nukes, enchanted weasels yeah, none of those are going to save you from getting killed to death early and often.
  • Hell, the game is quite proud of how efficient it is at killing you, but I will let Pedro rap about that.
  • So, boiled down what do you have? Streets of Rage on fk mothering 11.
  • Does it have a story? Dunno and don’t care in the slightest because games like this server one purpose… mash buttons and chill the fk out.
  • Unfortunately this one had a big ole swing and miss on the chill out part.
  • I don’t need hard in my chill the hell out games.
  • This was just another step closer to SKA making Salt & Sanctuary, which they did.


  • This is a much less refined charlie murder
  • Where that game had a lot of attitude and charm, and colourful characters to compliment the gameplay, this one, just devolves into straight button mashing, and doesn’t really do much for me
  • While the pretty princess mode is there just to taunt you, the easy mode is genuinely a little too easy. After getting stuck in a few places on normal, I decided to give it a whirl just to see what the difference was, and you have to be a special kind of dumb to drop below 50% health on any of the fights
  • I like a learning curve in my games, one that lets you see how well you’ve improved. This, again, just teaches you how to button mash with greater efficacy
  • There is a moves list that tells you the combos for the various weapons you find, but it feels a bit spray and pray when you actually try to execute them


  • This game mocks you if you’re not doing good enough.
  • Die twice in a row? You unlock the Pretty Princess difficulty level where, not only is everything piss easy, the game gets a rainbow style color palette and instead of blood, enemies bleed out those pink glowy hearts.
  • The “Achievement” you get when you unlock Pretty Princess also takes a nice pot shot at game reviewers who bitched the previous Dishwasher game was too hard!
  • And while I appreciate a game calling me a scrub and beating my ass down, case in point, I very much enjoyed Hollow Knight, Salt & Sanctuary and other such damn hard games.
  • But damn hard is only enjoyable to the point where you feel like with each failure you’re getting better and eventually overcome the challenge.
  • In Vampire Smile, like I mentioned in controls, I don’t feel like I’m getting better.
  • The simple fact I managed to beat the game still feels like blind luck.
  • I didn’t feel like I was improving and overcoming, I felt like I kept getting really lucky and stun locking as many enemies as possible in one combo.
  • While I still enjoy a great deal of things about this game, it is painfully obvious Ska Studios still had quite a bit to learn.
  • I’ve mentioned many times that, in my opinion, video games live or die on their mechanics. Aesthetics and narrative should serve to complement those mechanics and not get in the way.
  • But when you’re actively taking control away from me to show an overlong kill animation, or to show me a door has opened, or to tell me where to go, or to show me that the key I just picked up unlocked the door I’m standing in front of, that doesn’t feel like an organic video game experience.
  • It feels condescending and a little bit pretentious. “Look at this awesome art I put in. Look at it! Don’t want to look at it? Tough! You’re going to be sitting there for a full 3 seconds until you learn to enjoy it.”
  • So no, I didn’t enjoy The Dishwasher: Vampire Smile very much.





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