CHAIRQASITION: Skeletal Dance Party

You intrepid heroes kill zombies, collect hats, and wait. Skeletal Dance Party faces, the CHAIRQASITION!


CHAIRQUISITION:
– Nooope

– Not sure if want

– Check it out

– Shutupandtakemymonies


Game: Skeletal Dance Party
Webzone: Skeletal_Dance_Party
Devel: Catalope Games
Engine: Unity
Price: £6.19 / US$8.99 /CA$10.29

Wazzat: Necromancers! Paladins! Skeletons! Monsters! Oh, my! You play as Reva, a young fox-eared necromancer who embarks on a quest to host an awesome dance party for all her friends… who happen to be the reanimated skeletons of her enemies.

Mandatory Disclosure: Devs sent us keys on Curator Connect


Venn:

Does It Launch

  • Yis.
  • It zombie’s on me once but it was not repeatable.

Performance @ 1080

  • Solid 60 at UHD /w everything on YOLO.
  • Slow arse load time.

Graphics

  • Think Minecraft with vaseline smeared on the lense.
  • Also voxels.

Control

  • You can technically use a controller with this game, I don’t suggest it.
  • WASD is your best bet here and everything eventually works.


Jordan:

Does It Launch

  • Yes it do

Performance @ 1080

  • Holds a solid 60 @ 1080
  • UHD makes it a wee unreadable

Graphics

  • Holy no font scaling @UHD batman
  • It looks like voxels

Control

  • Standard wasd fare
  • Doesn’t seem to like my scroll wheel
  • And that camera control. Geez

Pedro:

Does It Launch

  • It launches and remembers settings

Performance @ 1080

  • This is odd.
  • In some conversations the game slows down so much, it almost freezes.
  • I have to alt-tab out and back in for it to skip the conversation and then I can continue playing.
  • It uses exactly 1 core while doing the random level generation and it takes for fucking ever!
  • At UHD the FerPS come down to the low 40s when you have 10 skeletons and another 10 skulls floating about.

Graphics

  • It’s more of the proto-Minecraft style of graphics like Smith & Winston.
  • There’s also an issue with those forcefields on my end, where the transparency layer seems to be z-fighting with some purple texture.
  • Music can get a bit repetitive if you’re going a slower pace through the level, but it works.
  • I’m pretty sure I’ve heard that voice actress somewhere.

Control

  • Those default controller bindings are… odd!
  • But at least it’s easy enough to swap the D-Pad to the right stick and vice versa.

QA Score:

Fedora:
Soulless:
Ubuntu:


Fun section:

Fun?:

  • Venn:
    • The controls for this game are atrocious.
    • Well they might only suck a little but it’s hard to tell with your minions constantly dry humping you.
    • Is this a physics game?
    • I’ve been playing for over an hour and while I can move shite around I have yet to have a reason to do it.
    • It’s not clear when I can resurrect the ded or what is needed to regain that ability.
    • ZERO fkn idea what exactly triggers picking up items and weather or not I need them.
    • What voice direction was given to the lass doing the main character?
    • Sensual frightened young girl with a hint of weeb?
    • Because that’s how it came across, Brad.
    • Skeleton voice was passable, well I should say the voiced lines were.
    • By the time I reached the first Templar i had nerfed the oonce oonce and replaced it with something more appropriate.
    • Crash Test Dummys.
    • After derping around some more it becomes clear all the crypts are rehashes of one another.
    • It tries to be cute, it tries to be clever, hell, it tries to be a physics game but at the end of the day?
    • It’s something to FK around with for 30 minutes because hey, dancing skeletons.
  • Jordan
    • This game sort of plays like a single player MOBA
    • Actually, come to think of it reminds me a bit of Nekro
    • You summon your creeps and send them ahead. Sometimes
    • Sometimes your skellies or zombos get stuck on stuff. A lof the time it’s you
    • And you stick right back to them
    • After reading pedro’s schitck about inventory management, I tried managing the inventory on my doods
    • Man, that system is crappy and non intuitive
    • And the crowning stinky jewel is the camera. Considering you use your mouse for aiming, directing minions, you often times find yourself staring through a wall
    • The writing doesn’t really do it for me, and after about an hour I started listening to the new vektor album and muted the game soundtrack
    • And then one of the dungeons glitched on me and didn’t lower a door after I killed everything and didn’t let me finish the level, so I gave up
  • Pedro
    • It’s Brütal Legend without the awesome soundtrack.
    • But in losing the sound track, it certainly wins in not ham-fisting the RTS bits down your throat.
    • The only strategy here is to carefully pick up the equipment and summon as many skeletons, pumpkins, or kamikaze demi-liches as possible.
    • If you have a full roster from what your equipment allows, you’ll basically just steamroll all through the level and flatten everything that comes your way.
    • The real difficulty is from guiding your character and her army of flailing skeletons through the level.
    • The AI on those skeletons often gets caught in the scenery, each other and your character.
    • Even at the best of times, this is a game which will not blow your mind.
    • But as a game that doesn’t take itself too seriously, it’s not bad at all.
    • If it weren’t for the performance and graphical glitches, I’d give it 3 chairs.

Fun Score:

Venn:
Jordan:
Pedro:

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