Realms of Arkania: Nope of Destiny

Oh for the love of Flying Spaghetti Monster, can we get a decent Linux RPG already?! Pretty, please? Neverwinter Nights and Sacred are both more than 10 years old now.

In case it isn’t apparent at this point, Realms of Arkania: Blade of Destiny is not a very good game. In fact, it’s worse than Legends of Aethereus! You’d think that’d be a hard, if not impossible, thing to do but lo and behold…

“But Pedro, you’re passing judgement on this game without telling us why it sucks!” – Well fine! If you really must know; the Nope of Destiny, as I’ve started calling it, is yet another Unity game where the devs just didn’t bother. They didn’t bother to test it, because it doesn’t work without having to manually symlink the nested data folders and add LANG=C %command% to the Steam launch options. They didn’t bother with the art, because the game is using the stock Unity assets for everything. And they certainly didn’t bother with the voice acting, because it’s pretty clear none of the “actors” wanted to be reading those lines.

Realms of Arkania
 Realms of Arkania Realms of Arkania Realms of Arkania

Why?! Why would you put out a “game” that you know is shit? Why would you submit yourself to the scorn of enraged internet trolls? Do you enjoy getting shat on by random strangers you’ve never met and will never see again? I don’t get it!

…And you shouldn’t get it either. If what I’ve described so far wasn’t an effective deterrent, they’ve slapped a  $19.99 or €19.99 price tag on this piece of electronic trash. As if the game wasn’t bad enough, they’ll shove some regional bullshit price up your ass, too!

Stay! The fuck! Away!


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