L.G.C. |Reviews| — Assault Android Cactus

Your intrepid heroes spin in circles, right-click, and get noped like a boss. Assault Android Cactus faces the CHAIRQUISITION!

Game: Assault Android Cactus (September 23rd)
Webzone: http://www.assaultandroidcactus.com/
Devel: Witch Beam
Engine: Unity 5
Price: € 13.99 / US$ 14.99 / CDN$ 16.99

Wazzat: Assault Android Cactus is an intense arcade style twin stick shooter – pick from one of nine unique synthetic heroines and blast your way through overwhelming robots hordes to save the ship from its own workforce. Supports single player and local co-op game modes.


CHAIR – Nooope

CHAIRCHAIR– Not sure if want


CHAIRCHAIRCHAIRCHAIR– Shutupandtakemymonies

Makes with the working


  • I wanna give it an extra chair because it launches at your current Desktop resolution.
  • This is helpful when doing 1080/2160 comparisons.




Shiny / Sounds


  • Holds a steady 45FERPS @ 2160 /w everything on 11.
  • 150 @1080 on 11
  • Chibi-style androids, right. IMA give you a free pass on that one.
  • I’m a bit disappointed that FXAA is the best you got.
  • Even /w things on 11 I can still see the jaggies on my 28’ display SINCE I’M SITTING RIGHT IN FRONT OF IT BECAUSE… well, we’ll get into that in the controls section.
  • It’s colourful and the characters / levels reflect that.
  • Animation rigging is a bit meh but cutscenes are few and far between.
  • Sounds are your standard arcade pew pew pew. Nothing to write home about.
  • I know they released OST DLC but for the life of me I’m unable to recall the background music.
  • I’m not saying it wasn’t good, just, I was more focused on not getting murdered to death.


  • The FMV video bits are fairly well done
  • Voice acting in any linux game is a plus
  • Needs more of it though.   Acting is expensive
  • Runs fairly well at 4K


  • The voice acting, when present, is great!
  • For such a small team and limited budget, these lot made the absolute best that they could.
  • I found myself muting the BGM and loading up my Hardstyle Techno playlist. Much better!
  • At 1080p with everything on 11 and enforcing 2x MSAA through the NVidia settings the game ran at some constant 100-110 FerPS and looks amazing.
  • The art style, sound design and atmosphere fit together to create an awesome audio-visual experience.
  • Not having any other forms of AA built-in, outside of FXAA, and the lack of voice acting in some places are really the only things I can fault it for.




  • D-did you release a twin-stick bullet-hell shooter without the ability to adjust sensitivity?
  • Yes you did, yes you did!
  • The right stick is beyond hella twitchy making precise targeting FK all impossible.
    • Yes I’m pretending “precise” and “controller” can be used in the same sentence.
  • Not something I would expect from a game that proudly touts “Steam Box Ready” on their store page.
  • The only way I was able to play Victor Vran /w the Xclone was the ability to adjust sensitivity.
  • Keyboard and gerbil saves it from receiving one chair.
  • I was wondering WTH they chose Space for weapon swap vs right click.
  • Then I right clicked.
  • …then shite got real.
  • At the end of the day this is PC, not PS4.
  • Lack of rebindable controls =’s – two chairs.


  • Auto detects my PS4 Controller, so that’s nice
  • Aiming seemed natural enough on the PS4 Controller
  • Little bit of weirdness when  you need to re-orient yourself,  but other wise I had no issue





  • I like the attempts at humour… but they fall a bit flat.
  • Granted the dead inside android is rather amusing #pineapple
  • The constant battery drain mechanic vs lifes is interesting, but you best not miss a single FKN drop.
  • Finding the right character best suited for boss fights is… interesting.
  • I’m unable to beat the first boss-organ. I suck, but I’m still trying.
  • FK you all! Kicked it’s arse!
  • After twelve tries and figuring out right click would also change weapons.
  • Locking the FPS and AI assist modes (among other things) behind a point wall is a dick move.
  • That is usually reserved for pay-to-win mobile games.
  • If your game is fun IMA just going to play it.
  • Don’t artificially inflate playtime requirements #CastlevaniaII #nighttime
  • The levels are easy-sauce but they ill prepare you for the Boss fights.
  • I want to call it rage-quit light because it will summon teh Alt+F4 but, the entire time you will be thinking “alright, I’ll sort you next time”.


  • This game has an awesome learning curve
  • Everything progresses in difficulty naturally and builds on what you’ve been doing
  • Goddamn that first boss though.   That took a few tries
  • Normally, I’m not that big a fan of Shmups, but this is a very well done one
  • I remember it being so much worse when we reviewed the early access one all those moons ago
  • Congrats on  your revised score


  • This game has made leaps and bounds since we first got the keys back in 2013.
  • Textures look proper and the shading effects actually work
    • Although, that may be because I’m not stuck on a 2009 Toshiba Calculator with an AMD graphics chip anymore.
  • The partial voice acting is, I feel, a point in its disfavor.
  • Like I mentioned earlier, voice acting is great. It feels right given the setting, design choice and overall silliness of the game. It’s just too bad they couldn’t have it all fully voice-acted.
  • Combat also feels much better now. Each shot, especially with Coral (the shotgun android), has some real punch to it and it feels stupidly satisfying to nope 5 or 6 enemies in a single shot.
  • Dat leaderboard at the end of each level showing you the score (and giving special emphasis to your Steam friends) is both amazing and completely freakin’ evil.
  • When I saw that Venn and SleepBeef had beat my scores, I immediately went back and corrected that.
  • If I had to criticize this game in any way, is that the androids are not balanced.
  • Holly and Cactus are considerably better than Coral or Starch.
  • Also, Local Multiplayer only!




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