CHAIRQASITION: Crest

Your intrepid heroes provide the quality assurance that should have been done in the first place. Crest faces the CHAIRQASITION!

Game: Crest
Webzone: Crest
Devel: Eat Create Sleep
Engine: Unity
Price: £6.99 / US$9.99 / CA$10.90

Wazzat: Become a god in this indirect god sim. Influence and try to control your followers using commandments but beware, free will leaves these open to interpretation. Will you create a flourishing civilization or lead them into cannibalism?

Mandatory Disclosure: Devs sent us keys


CHAIRQUISITION:
CHAIR– Nooope

CHAIRCHAIR– Not sure if want

CHAIRCHAIRCHAIR– Check it out

CHAIRCHAIRCHAIRCHAIR– Shutupandtakemymonies


Makes with the working

Venn-CHAIRCHAIRCHAIR

  • 30/45 @ 2160p
  • 55/180 @ 1080p
  • Saving a game caused me to tab out and crack open htop to see it was still working.
  • Shite don’t close, yo.
    • Alright, Vulcan nerve pinch causes it to hang but Exit button works.
  • Properly multithreaded.
  • Both fullscreen and windowed mode work as expected.

Jordan-CHAIRCHAIRCHAIR

  • The alt f4 thing is real.

Pedro-CHAIRCHAIRCHAIR

  • Those save times, though…

Total-CHAIRCHAIRCHAIR


Shiny / Sounds

Venn-CHAIRCHAIR

  • Polygon titties.
  • Oh hell, menus upon menus.
  • Sounds were noped out of the box.

Jordan-CHAIRCHAIR

Pedro-CHAIRCHAIR


Total-CHAIRCHAIR


Control

Venn-CHAIRCHAIRCHAIRCHAIR

  • WASD logical gerbil / keyboard layout.

Jordan-CHAIRCHAIRCHAIRCHAIR

  • Click on things.   Proclaim commandments.
  • Wait..
  • 30 GOTO 10

Pedro-CHAIRCHAIRCHAIRCHAIR


Total-CHAIRCHAIRCHAIRCHAIR


FUN

Venn-CHAIR

  • You dropped my into the game proper after that little shite of a tutorial?
  • I’m not a fan of hand-holding but WT actual F.
  • Here’s some menus, a commandment, pick some berries and have at, fucko.
  • 18min into the game and that’s where I would seek out the refund button.
  • Is this a god game or a city management game with a bunch of extra steps?
  • Commandments seems fk all useless.
  • Damn thing basically play itself.
  • Disclaimer on what I just said because daddy still don’t know what he is (or is supposed to be) doing.
  • I gave you 45 minutes and 35 of them were spent randomly clicking about trying to make something happen… it didn’t.
  • At $9.99 this is an example of getting what you pay for… and feeling a bit cheated.

Jordan-CHAIR

  • Hot damn is this shit boring.
  • I mean, i get how it’s supposed to work.   The turorial explains the mere basics, but everything has a tool tip
  • But holy shit, I am just sitting here with my thumb up my ass
  • Say what you will about the grindy nature of pokemon, but at least you’re doing something with your hands

Pedro-CHAIR

  • This is like Populous 2 without the point.
  • The point being you had a clear goal and progression.
  • Progression in crest seems to be completely optional and, most of the time, it looks no different than staring at the screen waiting for time to pass.
  • Literally!
  • You’re not playing a game, you’re giving the AI (if you can call it that) suggestions and may or may not get to it.
  • I’m always up for a game that will change my mind about a genre… This isn’t it.
  • In fact, I’d say this is the quintessential “god game” in its implementation and it’s fucking boring!

Total-CHAIR


Final –CHAIRCHAIR

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