ChairQAsition: Tesla vs Lovecraft

Your intrepid heroes provide the quality assurance that should have been done in the first place. Conarium faces the ChairQAsition!

Game: Tesla vs. Lovecraft
Webzone: Tesla_vs_Lovecraft/
Devel: 10tons Ltd.
Engine: Custom
Price: £10.99 / US$14.99 / CA$16.99

Wazzat: Tesla vs Lovecraft is an intense top-down twin stick arena shooter from the creators of Crimsonland and Neon Chrome. Play as the enigmatic inventor Nikola Tesla harnessing the static energy to power up Tesla-Mech and give the lovecraftian nightmares a lesson in horror!

Mandatory Disclosure: 10tons Ltd. sent us keys

CHAIR– Nooope

CHAIRCHAIR– Not sure if want


CHAIRCHAIRCHAIRCHAIR– Shutupandtakemymonies

Makes with the working


  • Clean bill of health minus showing each display resolution three times.
  • Well, there is some tearing on the top of the screen but I’m looking into that.




Shiny / Sounds

Venn-CHAIRCHAIRAsteoid? Asterisk? Clara?

  • The graphics work but that’s about it.
  • I would like to see this as a Shadow Warrior FPS.
  • Baddies are generic as hell.
  • Music is a bit of alright and really helps with the action.


  • I like the designs they use for the lovecraft monster baddies. They’re very cute
  • The sound track was alright. I found myself really not paying attention to it while I was playing the game


  • I really liked the background music and how well it fits with the action on screen.
  • Sure! Hear one enemy of a type die, you’ve heard them all.
  • But the music is actually really well done.
  • The graphics are kinda meh but it’s a top down shooter.
  • For what it is, these graphics work.




  • Nothing really to complain about here.
  • It’s your standard top-down joint and you run backwards while shooting.
  • Not suited for the Steam controlla.



  • Hey! It’s a twin-stick which doesn’t do something stupid between the camera angle and pushing any given direction, Brigador!
  • It’s remarkably similar to Assault Android Cactus in how well it works with both the controlla and mouse and keyboard.
  • It’s also remarkably similar to Assault Android Cactus in every other way, but that’s not a bad thing!




  • War Pigeon? #winning
  • I like the chasing down mech parts mechanic.
  • The RNG perks are interesting and you are forced to use them.
  • You can pop-in, play a round, and pop-out.
  • And that’s something you might need to do since each level is legit non-stop because FK YOU, that’s why!
  • $14.99 is a little on the high side for a bullet hell.
  • I should say $14.99 is a little on the high side for a bullet hell without online multiplayer.


  • You know, as far as schmups go, this one isn’t too bad
  • The missions are short and digestible, the maps are big and labyrinthine enough to give you a chance, especially with destructible environments and the teleport mechanic
  • It’s basically Serious Sam the 2D encounter, but with less jokes and more olde timey references


  • It has the pick up and play appeal to it.
  • Do you want to sink an hour into it, you can.
  • Do you just have 5 minutes to spare and want to bash through a level, you’ll probably have time for 2 levels.
  • And the music! Music can play a big part in my enjoyment of a video game.
  • I’ll always remember the first electrified rail running bit of Valley and what they did with the music to complement that.
  • Tesla vs. Lovecraft, cynical namesake cash-grab I thought it would be, actually surprised me with how much fun I had playing it!
  • I don’t really look forward to twin stick shooters and this one actually got me to have fun.
  • I very much enjoyed my time with Tesla v. Lovecraft.




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