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Your intrepid heroes look at skyboxes, attempt to fight, and search for Coral. The Girl And The Robot faces the CHAIRQUISITION!

Game: The Girl and the Robot
Webzone: http://store.steampowered.com/app/270070/
Devel: Flying Carpets Games
Engine: Unity
Price: $9.99

Wazzat: The Girl and the Robot is a third person action/adventure game set in a fairy tale world where you take on the role of a young girl trying to escape from a castle ruled by an evil queen.

Full Disclosure: They sent us keys


CHAIRQUISITION:
CHAIR– Nooope

CHAIRCHAIR– Not sure if want

CHAIRCHAIRCHAIR – Check it out

CHAIRCHAIRCHAIRCHAIR – Shutupandtakemymonies


Makes with the working

V-CHAIRCHAIR

  • It thought about hitting 60, once.
  • Scream of nope.

J-CHAIRCHAIR

  • Unity scream of nope in 2016? Minus 2 Chairs

E-CHAIRCHAIR

  • 2016: -2 chairs
  • 2017: -3 chairs?

Total-CHAIRCHAIR


Shiny / Sounds

V-CHAIR

  • Welp, it looks exactly like their Kickstarter video… from 2013.
  • Well, not exactly, they added constant blue blinking texture goodness.
  • No turning animation (place camera over head and move L/R)
  • I almost want to draw the skeletal structure of little miss FK human proportions.
  • The animation rigging is placeholder at best, hilariously bad at worst.
  • Dat pixelated skybox.
  • However it’s easy to ignore when you are focused on all the jaggies.
  • Random piano music but that’s it.

J-CHAIR

  • Oh the texture issues
  • I’d give it a little more than dreamcast quality. Maybe early PS2
  • The soundtrack is there, but it’s barely noticeable

E-CHAIRCHAIR

  • UHD Dreamcast
  • Ran almost the same at 1080p and UHD (15-60 ferps)
  • What is up with the fluttery blue texture thing that happens on the player characters?

Total-CHAIR


Control

V-CHAIRCHAIR

  • Jump, then try to turn.
  • Camera only follows while running.
  • Fighting is absolute shite.
  • Seriously, outside of blind luck you will get skull FKd if two or more baddies attack you.

J-CHAIRCHAIR

  • Fighting sucks
  • Context sensitive X button is lacking
  • Had to use steam overlay to map right click to the trigger button so I could aim.
  • Go go steam controller!

E-CHAIRCHAIR

  • Try to block. It seems to work okay… except in combat.
  • COMBAT === BAD
  • on the 360 controller:
    • RT maps to move left
    • LT shows in-game as “aim” but it’s mapped to the select button
      • That’s where the FKR is? #TIL
    • D-pad left/right map to move forward/back… wat.
  • Steam controller:
    • Used the generic 3rd person over the shoulder config
    • Worked exactly like the x360 controller except the grip buttons were run and jump which was nice
  • All the controls are there, so it’s not completely busted
  • No way am I using the Unity Control Config screen of 3xNOPE to fix anything

Total-CHAIRCHAIR


FUN?

V-CHAIR

  • Remember walking into that empty arse-town?
  • Was anyone elks waiting for ranger Rick to run by looking for Coral?
  • Yeah, that’s when it really sunk in.
  • At launch it looked hella beta but that town screams unfinished prototype shipped as a finished product.
  • It’s bad enough this was all the Kickstarter backer received after a 38K successful funding.
  • Selling it as a baked game on the Steam is just a dick move.

J-CHAIR

  • I get that this game is going for the Ico sort of gameplay
  • But it fails at it
  • The controls are borked, the graphics aren’t that good and the gameplay just isn’t engaging

E-CHAIRCHAIR

  • The teamwork aspect was okay
  • The puzzles weren’t very challenging
  • Graphics are seriously dated
  • The world is completely empty and non interactive
  • My little nephew played earlier and he had a better time with it than I did

Total-CHAIR


Final –CHAIR

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