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Unreal 4 samples hit the web! Dark Horizons bring the MECH, Sony eyes Crytek, and XCOM gets benched. Then Drunken Robot Pornography faces our Chairquisition! All this, plus your hate mail.


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Hate Mail

Colour key: Venn Jordan Pedro 

Steam News:

We are the 1.20%

  • Around 900’000-ish Linux users assuming the 75 million active accounts is still current.

  • Knowing they don’t give ARCH it’s own category makes /w the smiles.

    • They’re the vocal minority.


Virtual Steam

  • at last our national nightmare is over

  • After facebuts picked up the Rift my interest went from “meh, I’ll buy one” to “fuckity bye!”


Virtual Witching

  • Again, Linux devels will guide this moron through his errors.

  • FK all horrified he is under NDA for W3.

  • How many times do we need to have this discussion anyways?  Stop giving these guys money.  Period.  End of File.   Exit, init 0, *pours gasoline in PC and tosses in a lit match*

    • start:

    •       invoke ExitProcess,0

    • end start

    • or GTFO

  • I’m pro never talking about the Witcher 2 on Linux again.



  • I for one would like to see his moon benchmarking software.

  • Aside from one hardlock, I’ve had no issues with this port

  • There does seem to be some information lacking regarding the software he used.

    • But considering it’s an Unreal Engine 3 game, I wouldn’t be surprised if the measurements are accurate.

  • Also, the minimum requirements are incorrect. You can play the game fine on an AMD mobility 5650 on medium-highish graphics.

  • The only real problem I ran into (and I’ve since finished the game) were the herky-jerky loading screen bink videos.

Early MECH

  • In development “Support for additional platforms (Linux/SteamOS/Mac)”

  • It’s no HAWKEN but it tickled my mech fancy.

    • Considering it’s UE3 …WHAR!

      • Hell if I know. Guess they’re happy with their game not being relevant in any platform.

  • Linux could certainly use some native mech combat games


Space Farmers

  • That trailer is giving me some serious Reboot Flashbacks

  • Unfortunately multiplayer relies on a mysterious concept called “cooperation”



  • Apparently Valve is making with the help on the port

  • Bills itself as a more realistic Killing Floor/Left4Dead

    • That actually sounds good to me.

    • Left4Dead always felt less like zombie survival and more like bulletfest with zombies.


Legions of Ashworld

  • Turn-based strategy.

  • Claims to want to bring a sense of adventure to strategic war-gaming with its first-person view of the overworld.

  • From that description it seems like a turn-based, slower paced, Mount&Blade with 2D hand-drawn graphics.


Not good

  • Please don’t let this effect Star citizen

  • Seems like Deep Silver might be looking to buy out Crytek UK to finish Homefront.   That wouldn’t be a bad outcome all things considered

    • I’d be alright with that!



  • 9000% speculation but it makes sense.

  • Hudsonimage.jpg

  • Let the rumor mill spin!


Unreal demos

  • “We hope that soon we will be able to cook the content natively in Linux, as well.”

  • 64-bit only and the cool demos run like arse on ze APU.

  • AGxCmHb3.png

  • Doesn’t work on the open source drivers.

  • Works fine on the nvidia boxen

  • Realistic rendering demo is fairly impressive and runs at a consistent framerate.  Colour me impressed

  • Fuck Flappy chicken

    • flap flap GRR! flap fla..OH FFS! Fla…alright, FK this business.


Help “The Dark Mod” improve it’s rendering engine

  • Optimization goes a long way, kids! Good on them!

  • They need halp porting Doom 3’s GPU skinning code.

    • It’ll let the GPU do most of the heavy lifting when it comes to model joint movement and improve performance at the same time.


Dreamy episodes

  • Another case of “boy runs successful Kickstarter”; “boy spends all kickstarter money”; “boy thinks they have what it takes to compete with Telltale on the episodic field and hey moar games moar money, right!?”; “boy sells the first one or two episodes before people lose interest and the only ones who will be left playing will be the original backers.”

  • I understand the desire to provide something tangible to backers but please,  PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF SATAN, Don’t ad-hoc your development process.   Have at least some kind of planning and scoping meeting and set some realistic goals or timelines.   

    • Do actual development instead of just programming


Relax’em Up, Mountain Simulator

  • I don’t… uh… I don’t even!

  • From the same creative mind behind the video game featured in the movie Her.

  • I’m just disappointed that I can’t crush people’s heads in this

  • “Mountain Simulator, Relax em’ up, Art Horror”



  • The website’s description of the game sounds like Minecraft and its bazillion clones.

  • Terminal Minecraft with poor english.

  • Like the soundtrack though!

  • I don’t fucking know what’s happening.  I’m so confused



  • Sim city-ish type thing with a focus on factories.

  • Futzed /w the demo. Borderline fun, but we do like our simulation.


– Nooope

– Not sure if want

– Check it out

– Shutupandtakemymonies

Game: Drunken Robot Pornography


Devel: Dejobaan Games

Engine: Unity

Price: $14.99/€10.99

Wazzat: Bullet-hell, boss-battle, first-person shooter, with giant-robots, martinis and jetpacks. YES. Drink the cocktails. Fight the titans. Make your own Titans. Drink your friend’s cocktails.

Makes with the working


  • Nothing, nada, zero problemo.



  • Instead of one config file (~/.config/unity3d/Dejobaan Games, LLC/Drunken Robot Pornography/prefs) you have two (the second one being in the game’s SteamApps folder). So when the game starts cocking up with the extended desktop resolution I have to edit 2 different files to fix it.

  • This game is completely buggy on my end.

  • Lo and behold, this is what the level selection looks like for me!


Shiny / Sounds


  • Unity can do quasi-cell shaded graphics well. This takes advantage of that spades.

  • Nothing here will blow out your eye pussies but the textures are clean and the big boss thingys are well done.

  • The soundtrack can eat a bag of dicks.

  • The weapon sounds are flaccid as P-man in a room of hot ladies.



  • Resolution cock-ups and Unity-tastic graphics.

  • I didn’t hate the voice-acting!




  • I’ve had more than one human rage-quit while using my desktop. I enjoy a stupid high sensitivity.

  • Honestly, you need it in a game like this.


  • Holy Mouse sensitivity batman


  • Mouse sensitivity is far too twitchy even at the lowest setting

  • You know how if you hold the left click the gun just shoots continuously? For me it only shoots like once a second.




  • I rather enjoy this game but it makes me feel the olds.

  • I can keep up /w difficulty on 11 but I’m exhausted after a few rounds.

  • Welcome to 30 motherfu*kers!

  • Loses a chair because I was killed to death more than once from not being able to distinguish enemies from the background.


  • This game bored me after 10 minutes


  • I’ve used the shooting spit balls out of a straw analogy before, but this is just getting ridiculous.

  • For me it’s completely broken and downright unplayable. It gets 1 chair because we don’t give out 0.


Final –

Hate Mail:

heretic purchase

  • Screw two Jesus’s

  • I’m ok with heretic purchases being subtracted if the devs do decide to port their old games.

    • And I mean actually port, wrappers do not count.

  • Granted you bought it specifically for WINE but if the devs play nice, I’m ok with it not counting towards the 5.

  • Spend your money however the fuck you want.   I don’t give  an iota of a shit



  • This all stemmed from a comment on a Witcher 2 “lets play” video.

  • I said it’s universally hated by the Linux community and not native etc… and 50 something comments later.

  • Oh, let’s delete posts.


  • I love all the level 0 steam accounts “agreeing” with them and congratulating them on banning “trolls”.


    • ^

      • Next week on Witcher 2 Cast.

      • Personally, I like watching the devels implode.

      • giphy.gif


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