Your intrepid heroes grab buckets, spin in circles, and search for a resolution. Cradle faces the CHAIRQUISITION!
Game: Cradle
Webzone: http://store.steampowered.com/app/361550/
Devel: Flying Cafe for Semianimals
Engine: Unigine
Price: €/$ 12.99 – CDN$ 13.99
Wazzat: Cradle is a fascist, sci-fi first-person-view quest designed for right-handed players to explore the surrounding world. The story is built around the relations of the protagonist and a mechanical girl who by quirk of fate found themselves amidst the desert.
CHAIRQUISITION:
– Nooope
– Not sure if want
– Check it out
– Shutupandtakemymonies
Makes with the working
V-
- I just did a doubletake at what J-man is about to bring up.
- I can only confirm there is no 4K res options.
- Yes, guys and goils; three of us have 4K displays and two /w a 980.
- And aaand at 1080 it runs like butta /w everthing on 11 ..until you move.
- Did I mention that it refuses to work with Steam overlay?
- I hit Shift+Tab and the game locked the gerbil into the window and there was no way out.
- Good old Ctrl+Alt+F2 to the rescue.
J-
- No 4K option.
- To be fair, that’s probably a good thing considering how shit this runs at 1080, on a 980
- Hard pressed to be pushing 40 FPS on high
P-
- I finished the tutorial and walked up to the train stop.
- The FerPS went from 45ish down to 25 when I did a slow 360º.
M-
- After 5-15 minutes of playing 45 fps suddenly drops to 5 fps.
- Tried different drivers, rebooting, etc. #nope #patchplz #hahanever
Total-
Shiny / Sounds
V-
- They spent some proper time on the sounds and good on them!
- It looks nice, really, really, nice.
- Cohesive art design, this has it.
- Hey! Look! Oil Rush water! Neat!
- But something is missing.
- Yeah, trees are missing limbs, Brad.
J-
- It’s uningine, so it’s kind of pretty
- The soundtrack is just kind of there though
- Everything looks nice until you get up close and look at it
- Might have blown my mind in 4k, but we’ll never know.
P-
- The tutorial looked nice, if a little dark.
- It did feel a little hand holdy, though.
- There were sounds, I guess.
- Nothing to write home about.
M-
- Nice models, good geometry. Outside fields look natural.
- Muted colors in most places makes things look old a worn.
Total-
Control
V-
J-
- It loses two chairs for it’s painful inventory management system
- Holy fuck, for a game that requires you to combine items in various ways, you could have at least spent some time to not make it clunky as all hell.
P-
- In 2015, a game that doesn’t allow you to rebind controls.
- I might have given it two chairs if it had the arrow keys mapped to mirror WASD.
- But it didn’t, Brad!
- I can’t play your first person game if you force me to play with WASD.
M-
- Stupid pick up the object and it floats in front of you mechanic.
- While it’s floating there, you have no controls to orient it.
Total-
FUN?
V-
- This is Myst 3D.
- Ironically Myst was composed /w hypercard (not really a game engine) and in 2015 this was composed /w UNIGINE (not really a game engine)
- This is what I like to call a scrapbook game.
- Where you spend a chunk-organ of time collecting bits-o-story
- Unfortunately this often involves picking up and moving shite
- Only Frictional knows how to do that properly, son.
- The random ‘block games’ can eat a bag ‘o floppy dicks.
- I ended up losing interest after an hour
- After reading the endless complaints about how the game just STOPS (not really an ending) I have little incentive to finish it.
J-
- Myst is an apt comparison for this
- However, instead it distracting me from needing to wait for my therapist, this just made me bored
- Click all the things to all the other things
- The performance of the game doesn’t help with the experience either
- It puts the lotion in the basket
P-
- I didn’t play past walking up to the train stop thing.
- I refuse to play elitist/fascist games that assume everyone is right handed, or has two symmetrical and functional hands. That’s a really bad move Brad.
- Wanna know what the best part is?
- They’re ignoring everyone who tells them about this.
- Go to the Steam forums and look up Controls.
- I also sent them an e-mail about it. No answer.
- Well then,
M-
- They had me at the robotic torso.
- They lost me with the rest of the game. Put teh red kettle on the furnace… whu?
Total-
Final –